I
hadn’t been doing much. Honestly, all I had been doing was sleeping. I hardly
ever left my room. I never really left it. All I ever wanted to do was sleep,
because in my dreams I got to see everyone that I never got to say goodbye to.
In my dreams I saw a lot of my father;
which was quite surprising. The man was only in my life for two years, you’d
think that he would not even cross my mind twice. However, I have been thinking
a lot about him lately. I’ve been dreaming about all the things that would have
gone right if he had stayed. He could have taught me how to ride a bike; I
would have absolutely loved that.
If he would have been around when I
was a kid, maybe everything would have been better. I probably would not have
been so mean to Blake when I was young. I was jealous of Blake, because he had
known our father longer. It made me so angry because they had more memories
together. That’s all I ever wanted though. I just wanted to be able to at least
remember some pretty great things about my father.
Just imagine how different things
would have been if he was around during my teenage years. For starters, I would
most likely not have been raped. That one event would have been totally
different for me if it had not happened. I could have been worse with the boys
though. Since I had major daddy issues, I could have fallen into the stereotype
and had sex with a lot of boys. One last thing, I would not have died so god
damn soon.
If my father had stayed, my mother
would not have gone from boyfriend to boyfriend. Then, she would definitely not
have been with that crazy Tyler guy. Who knows what the hell he was? Most
importantly, I would not have gone to Roxy and Pete’s house on my birthday, and
they wouldn’t have been able to set up a plan for them to murder me that
involved my best friend.
“I need to find her,” I said to
myself.
I looked around my room, and took
everything in. You know, without another person living in these rooms they
seemed pretty big. There were two twin beds; both against each far walls. There
was a desk, which is weird because no one ever seems to use a desk here. But,
it could be different in other rooms. I don’t know what other people do.
That’s something I should do… I should
go and meet more people from here. Maybe if I start to meet more people, I’ll
become closer to them. If I become closer to them, they would help me with
anything, right? Well, I could at least try.
I got up from my bed, and headed to
the closet. I grabbed a plain navy blue t-shirt, and a pair of skinny jeans to
put on.
Since
I didn’t share a room with anyone, I didn’t have to go into the bathroom to
change. I was never really comfortable enough to change in front of someone; I
always felt too uncomfortable.
When I was finished getting dressed I
figured that I should go to the Rec Hall, and actually eat something. I hadn’t
eaten anything in, I don’t even know how long. Not eating could not have
affected me though, I mean I was dead. It’s not like I could have died of
starvation; I was already dead.
I walked out of my room, and up the
stairs. Everything seemed completely normal, but then I saw this little girl
just sitting on the stairs. She was tall, but she had a young face. Honestly,
she looked like a young version of Roxy. This girl had the long legs, coffee
colored skin, long dark hair, and the blue eyes. It was amazing at how much she
looked like Roxy.
As I walked past the little girl, her
eyes followed my every move. Every step I took, the girl just sat there and
stared at me. She did not once take her eyes off of me as I was passing by her.
I don’t have much room to talk though; I kept staring at her as well. I mean,
she just looked too much like Roxy. You can’t expect me to not stare at someone
who looks like the girl who helped plan my murder. Maybe there’s a boy here
that looks like Pete…
Anyways, as soon as I was out of the
girl’s sight, I started walking fast to the Rec Hall. Honestly, I did not even
want to eat. I just wanted to meet people to help me take down Molly. If
someone were to known what I had been planning, they would think that I was
obsessed. Can you blame me though? I was murdered. I was living in the same
place as my murderer. Well, technically we were not living. Whatever, you get
the point.
As I walked into the Rec Hall, I started
to get nervous. “What if they know what I’m
thinking,” I thought to myself.
I decided to grab some food to at
least look like I had a reason to be there. I didn’t even think about what I wanted;
it’s not like I was going to eat. So, I just walked to the closest stand, and
grabbed whatever they had. Then, I looked around to see who I could approach.
When I was alive, I was quite an approachable
person. I never once looked intimidating to anyone. No one ever once had a
problem coming to speak to me. I was trying to make that happen in the Rec
Hall. Who would be more willing to help me; boys or girls? Well, boys, of
course.
I looked down, and took a deep breath.
Then, I looked around the Rec Hall to see if I could find anyone to approach.
There were not a lot of people in there that day. However, in the far back
corner, there was just what I was looking for; two boys who looked around my
age.
I stood there for a second, and
thought about what I would say to them. Then, I stood up straighter, and
thought, “How would Roxy approach them?”
Be a vixen. That’s what I had to do. I had to be a vixen. So, I walked over to
the boys with my head held a little higher, and my hips swaying back and forth.
I wasn’t all that great at being a vixen, but desperate times called for
desperate measures.
As I came closer, the boys looked up
at me. So, I flashed them a smile, and said, “Hey, do you mind if I sit with
you two?”
They both looked at each other, and
tried to figure out what they should say to me. I didn’t really get a good look
at the boys until I was standing there waiting for them to answer me. They were
both quite attractive, and looked young. They could not have been any older
than eighteen. One of them had brawny body, tan, toned, a crew cut, and dark
eyes. The other was almost his exact opposite. He was scrawny, however he was
tan as well, also had a crew cut, and the greenest of eyes. They must have been
in some sort of special force.
Eventually, the scrawny one looked at
me and said, “But of course.”
I pulled up a chair, put my tray of
food down, and sat at the end of their table. “I’m Leah,” I said to them, and
smiled. “It’s nice to meet you guys.”
The brawny one met my eyes, but then
quickly looked away. He had just the slightest hint of a smile on his face. “Sorry
about him. He’s just shy when it comes to pretty girls,” said the scrawny one.
I looked at them both. “It’s alright, I
totally understand. I don’t bite though, I’m a nice girl,” I giggled.
“Well, that’s good to know. My name is
Jack, and this here is my roommate, Dylan,” said the scrawny boy; I mean Jack.
“It’s nice to meet you,” said Dylan
shyly.
I smiled at Dylan, “It’s very nice to
meet you too. So, boys, tell me about you.”
“Dylan, would you like to tell Leah
about yourself,” asked Jack.
Dylan smiled. “I’m Dylan. I’m eighteen
years old, and I was training to be in the Marines. I’m a bit socially
impaired, but most people get used to it. I died in a car accident in the year
2000. Umm, I grew up in California. I don’t know what else to tell her about
me, Jack.”
“It’s okay man, you did a good job.
Well, Leah, I’m eighteen years old as well. I was also training to be in the
Marines, and I died in the same car accident as Dylan here. We both grew up in
Huntington Beach, California.”
“Wow, you two seem pretty interesting.
That’s neat that you guys got to stay together here,” I said to them.
“What about you,” asked Jack? “Tell us
about you.”
“Well, I’m sixteen. I wasn’t in any
training,” I laughed. “I was just trying to get through being a teenage girl. I
lived in Oregon for the longest time, however about a month or two before I died
I moved to Tucson, Arizona, and lived there till I died.”
“How did you die,” blurted Dylan.
“Dylan, stop it. Leah doesn’t have to
tell us if she doesn’t want to.”
“No, no that’s okay. Umm, I was
murdered,” I said awkwardly.
“Oh my god, that’s awful. I’m so sorry
that happened to you,” said Jack.
I smiled at him shyly, “It’s okay. So,
what floor are you guys on?”
“We’re on eleven, how about you,”
asked Jack.
“I’m on eleven as well. Would you guys
mind walking me back?
I flashed another smile at the both of
them. The more time I got with them was a better chance of me getting them to
help me out. “Well, I have to go to therapy. I’m sure Dylan here would love to
walk you back to your room. Do you want to walk, Leah, back to her room?”
Dylan smiled at me, and nodded his
head. “Okay,” said Jack. “You be nice to each other now.”
Jack got up and left the Rec Hall. I
was wondering who would be easier to get on my side first. I looked at Dylan, “You
ready to go?”
“Yes, let’s leave,” said Dylan.
Dylan and I got up, and walked out of
the Rec Hall. We were heading towards the stairs. “So,” I said. “If you don’t
mind me asking, how is it that you’re socially impaired? You seem fine to me.
It just seems as if you don’t have much of a filter.”
“That’s one of the problems,” said
Dylan. “I’m also slow in the head. The two put together is not that great of a
mix at all. Most people just think that I’m dumber than a bag of rocks.”
I looked up at Dylan, and he seemed genuinely
upset about his problem. So, I reached for his hand to try to comfort him. He
stopped for a second, and looked at our hands. He didn’t stop it, or question
it. I assumed it was fine, so I had my hand remain in his for the rest of the
way to our rooms.
I felt a little bad about the fact
that I was just using this sweet boy. However, I was going to do whatever it
took to get people on my side. I learned how to play people from the best, now
it was my turn to get a go at the game.
We
walked back to my room, and Dylan looked as if he didn’t want to leave. He just
stood there with me outside of my door, and held onto my hand. I set my hand on
his face, and looked him in the eyes. “Dylan, are you okay?”
Dylan looked away, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll
go now.”
I almost let him leave, but then I realized
what I had to do to get this boy on my side. I grabbed his arm as he turned
around, and said “Wait, don’t leave yet.”
Dylan turned back around. “Where am I supposed
to go then?”
I swallowed, and took a deep breath. “Come
in for a bit.”
“Come into your room? What are we
going to do in there?”
“Oh, I could think of a few things for
us to do in here,” I winked at him.
I opened up the door, and pulled Dylan
inside…
