Holy hell! That literally took forever for Leah to find
out! I mean, it’s not like I wanted her to find out or anything, but I knew she
was going too eventually. It just took so long. Thank god that I moved levels
right in time though, if I hadn’t who knows what she would’ve done to me. Leah
may look sweet and innocent, but when she’s mad she will become the biggest
bitch.
I wonder
if I’ll see Leah again. I want to talk to her about what happened, but I know
if we cross paths she’s going to go after my throat. She needs to know my side
of the story. Those people killed me too, not just her. Or wait a second, I killed
her. Not them. God dammit!
Only if
she knew what happened to me after she died. Surprisingly it took her a very
long time to figure out what happened to her when she died. I remembered in a
matter of weeks, it took her about a month or two. Whatever though, that’s not
the point.
I wonder
if I should go find her, or just stay here in my room. I’m scared to know
what’s going to happen next to me. Am I going to hell? Where am I going after Soul
Castle? What happens next?
I think
I’ll go look for Leah tomorrow. For now, I need to get my mind off of things. I
think I might just need to sleep this one off. There is not much to do here to
clear your mind. On second thought, I could always go to the W.Y.W. Maybe I’ll
picture pouring rain, or the grassy soccer field that I use to play on? I’ll do
anything to get my mind away from here, because it is not like I can actually get
away from here myself. I’ll just walk and see where the halls take me.
I walked
out of my room, and just kept walking. I decided to just go to the W.Y.W. It
might do me some good. It’s not like there’s ever anyone in there anyways, and
it is definitely the last place Leah would go.
On my way
to the W.Y.W I saw a little boy sitting on the stairs just staring at me. It
was not like the stare you give someone when they pass by you though. As soon
as he came into my vision, it was as if he was stalking me done like prey so I
would not get away.
Children
don’t usually scare me, but the way that little boy was staring at me really
did frighten me. I started walking up the stairs, and he was still following
me! I just kept walking though. Maybe we were just going in the right
direction? He was just a child, so he couldn’t do any harm. However, I was just
about 5 feet away from the W.Y.W and he just stopped following me. He was just
standing in the middle of the hallway staring at me. By then, I was beyond freaked
out. I thought it was time to confront the boy.
I started
to walk towards the boy. However, as I got near him he literally just
disappeared. He just was not there anymore. Children usually look so cute and
happy, but this one looked like he was terrified. This actually really scared
me. The boy could not have been any older than eight or nine years old. He was
skinny; very skinny. The child looked like he had not eaten in days. He had tan
skin, and sandy blond hair. Then there were his eyes. His eyes were big, and
blue. If his eyes hadn’t looked so scared, they would probably be quite
beautiful.
I decided
to go to the W.Y.W anyways. I opened up the door, and just stood in the empty
room before I thought about where I wanted to be. The room was completely
empty. It felt as if I was in a giant, white, box. It was comforting knowing
that some things could still be that simple; like the W.Y.W. My life, however,
was definitely not one of those simple things.
It was
time to think about where I wanted to be. I knew exactly where that was. When I
was about thirteen years old, I lived in this small house with my brother and
dad. It was in quite a big neighborhood; I truly loved it there. The house is
not where I wanted to be though.
Every July there were a ton of summer storms. The storms
were beautiful at night time. Whenever there was a storm during the night I
would sneak outside. I never went anywhere though. I did not go out to party,
go out to see a boy, or go out to drink. It would be around 2:00am and I would
lie down in the middle of the street. There were never any cars outside,
because of how late it was. I would just lay down right in the street, and let
the rain pour down onto me. It was tranquil. The smell of rain would be in the
air, the feeling of it was on my face, and in those moments was when I felt
most myself.
When I was done picturing everything in my mind, it all
appeared in front of me. Everything was there. My small house, the wide ranged
streets, the dark sky, and the rain pouring. I felt like I was home again. I
was standing in my front yard, and walked over to the street. I just stood
there, and took it all in. Then, I just laid down right there in the street. I
almost felt as much peace there as I did when I was alive.
While I was lying there, I really was happy for a minute
or two. However, out of nowhere my mind ceased to stop thinking about
everything that had happened. I was thinking about my dad, my brother, my life
before, Leah, what Pete and Roxy did to me, and what I did to Leah. At that
moment I could not keep it in any longer. I started balling my eyes out in the
W.Y.W. Once I started crying I just could not stop. Also, when I started
crying; my image of my old house and street disappeared. I was back in the
white box again.
I needed to get out of there. Not just the room; the
castle. When I realized I was back in the white box, I got up and ran back to
my room. I ran out of the W.Y.W, and down the stairs to get back. I didn’t want
to be in my room either, but that was the only place in the castle I could
truly call my own.
As soon as I got to the room I locked the door behind me.
I walked to my bed, and then my legs just gave out. By then I honestly just
could not handle everything that had gone on anymore. I hugged my knees to my
chest, and just cried. I don’t think Leah will understand how sorry I am for
what happened.
People probably think that I am the bad guy. I’m really
not though! Yes, I am the one that killed her. However, those people made me. I
had no idea that everything was going to happen the way it did. I was just a
confused teenage girl when it all happened.
I understand what I did was wrong. But what they did was
ten times worse. I cannot even bring it into words what they did to me, and what
they did to Leah after I stabbed her. We both just got caught up with the wrong
people. We let their looks fool us, their charm get to us, and our hearts get
the best of us. If I could see those three now, boy would I give them an ear
full. If I knew what they were planning, none of this would have ever happened.
I needed to get back there. I needed to get back to
Earth, and see those people. However, I could probably start by seeing what
they are now up to by going to the “Movies.” That should definitely work.
They are not going to go on like nothing happened.
